Have you ever wondered why some people can find success in their own lives and others cannot? What is it that makes someone successful?
We all know that success is a very subjective topic and is unique from person to person. Fame, fortune, family, a farm (not all successes start with “F” ya) can all be considered successes in their own right.
Defining your success is a very important step to feeling fulfilled in what you are working towards, and it can range from a very big dream to just living a comfortable life with financial freedom.
If that is the case, why isn’t everyone a successful person?
Successful VS Not-Successful-Yets
To me, the term “unsuccessful” really does carry a bad connotation, dictating a certain flaw in a person.
We know that there is actual power in words.
Instead of calling those who have yet to achieve their personal successes as ‘unsuccessful’, why not we call them the not-successful-yets? Because that’s just the way it is – you are either successful, or you have the chance to be.
But a chance is not enough, and there is a deciding factor that differentiates those successful and those who are yet to be.
The Dreamers VS The Do-ers
Before success, everyone is equal. It does not matter whether we were born into a well-to-do family or a low-income family. Personal success does not begin when we are born.
It begins when we define it, and take action to work towards it.
Of course, there are those who do this and those who don’t. With this, we can clearly divide everyone into 2 groups.
Dreamers
Thinking about what you want to achieve is a good first step to success. Without this step, you will wander loosely in this world, wondering where you are supposed to go.
When you have a goal, it is as though you see an upward staircase in front of you, one that was not there before. Don’t worry, the staircase is finite, and you can see the end of it.
Even though Dreamers see the staircase, they remain at the foot of the staircase, not taking a single step. This is because they dream, and their thoughts devolve into one of the following:
- I think I can climb this staircase
- I want to climb this staircase
- I need to climb this staircase
- I will try to climb this staircase
There are many variations of these thoughts, but one thing is for certain, and it is that these are just … thoughts. Figments of the mind.
They can be a good driver for change, motivating you to do the things that you want to do. But unless you actually take the first step in climbing the staircase, you will continue to stay at the start.
Unless we live in a world where spells work, words like “think”, “want”, “need”, and “will try” cannot physically change the real world.
However, the good thing about these words is that they are just actions that have yet to have been manifested.
Do-ers
In contrast to the Dreamers, those who actually take action can effectively change the course of their lives.
Do-ers have intention, and that is to move things forward. Just like the staircase example mentioned before, instead of standing at the foot of the staircase, do-ers lift their legs, inch it forward, land it, and push themselves up.
To them, any step, no matter how small, is still a step anyways. It is better than staying still.
For example, say you want to become a game developer. Look at the previous sentence again – you “want” to become a doctor, just a thought, not an action.
What is the smallest step you can make?
For some, it is to learn how to code in one programming language. For others, it is to take up a part-time job to secure a spot in a course where they can learn from a professional.
Once again, there are no small steps, just steps towards the end goal. Do-ers believe that there is no one route to their goals – their only focus is “What is my next step?”
This is the one thing that separates the not-successful-yets from those who are.
Why do Dreamers dream and Do-ers do?
Every action has an outcome, and what that outcome is is not obvious to us before we take the next step. This uncertainty is a common problem that all of us face in our everyday lives.
How we handle the anxiety and the risk that follows dictate which team we are on.
For the Dreamers, it is not wise to pursue the risk. They would rather choose to stay in a safe and stable position so as to not compromise what they already have.
You can see this most rampantly in employees who are working in corporate roles.
More often than not, when the role that they are in does not bring the fulfillment they desire, these employees will dream about the day they can leave the office and do something that they are passionate about (thus the ‘Dreamer’ title).
You will hear things like “I wish I could open my own coffee shop and not worry about these weekly KPIs”.
However, the thought of leaving a decent-paying job for a risky venture brings about a level of anxiety that keeps them in the same spot.
In the end, they save themselves from failure, but in the process lose the spark and opportunity to do something that they really love.
Now let’s look at the Do-ers. They have the appetite for risk, and understand that a bit of risk is necessary to move forward.
Because that is the nature of success. The lack of knowing what comes next is scary, but it is the only way towards attaining the actual thing you desire.
You cannot find success by staying where you are, but by moving towards it.
Do-ers also have a profound mindset shift from processing failures. Instead of thinking of failures as what it is, Do-ers flip the script and treat them as experiences.
Experiences can be either good or bad, but never useless.
Thus, Do-ers value the experience that they gather from taking action more than the safety they receive from staying put.
It is through struggle and learning that Do-ers grow exponentially faster than Dreamers, just like how learning from a job is sometimes better than learning in a classroom.
Despite putting themselves in a vulnerable state that increases the chances of a ‘fail’ scenario, they get much more experience in return.
How Do We Take The Step?
Here is a small thought experiment: what goes on through the mind of a child when taking their first step? We don’t fully know it, but it may be a mixture of curiosity and desire.
Curiosity from copying their mom and dad, who are able to stand on 2 legs. Curiosity from figuring out how to do it on their own.
The desire to move closer to mom and dad.
Maybe we can do it all over again, and take the baby steps needed to pursue our dreams.
Be Curious
Like we said, there can be good or bad experiences, but never a useless once. That is because you will always learn something from any given situation.
Failed an interview? You have the chance to improve your script. Created a bad product? You have the chance to reach out to customers and ask for feedback.
Regardless of what the outcome is, your actions give you information of how the world will react to you should you perform the same action again.
You then have a chance to either ignore this information, or learn from it.
But to get to that information, the action has to always come first, whether you make a google search on a query, or ask a friend about their opinion on a topic.
Again, you don’t have to make grand actions to put your plan into motion – just baby steps will do.
Use curiosity to drown the anxiety of taking the first step. We can think all we want about the multiverse of failures that may occur, we cannot forget about the multiverse of successes waiting for us.
Remember, any path we take can lead to both failure and success. Even an average job has the chance to fail.
The only thing we can do is choose what we want our struggle to be, so it should be something we can enjoy and be curious about.
Feed Your Desire
What would you like the most? To be fit? To feel financially free? To have the most number of Pop Mart toys in the world?
Focus on them and never let them out of your sight.
I have heard someone say this before and I sincerely believe in this way of thinking, and that is instead of thinking about doing the hard stuff, think about the thing you would ‘like’ from doing them.
You may not ‘want’ to go to the gym early in the morning, but you would ‘like’ to feel good about yourself if you have a good physique.
You may not ‘want’ to clean up the house, but you would ‘like’ to have a clean and comfortable space to live in and relax.
We can also apply this way of thinking to push ourselves closer to our goals.
We may not ‘want’ to struggle in building an income stream, but we would ‘like’ to eventually have a life where we don’t need to constantly worry about not having enough money to pay the bills or buy groceries.
So again, what would you like the most? What is one thing that can bring some color to your life?
If you have an answer, use it to create a desire and overcome the invisible force holding you back from achieving your personal success.
We Can All Be Successful
Making a commitment to work towards your personal success IS a success in itself, and for those of you who are already choosing a life that you want, be proud of yourselves.
You have already crossed the boundary separating the not-successful-yets from the successful.
It is tantamount that you keep pushing forward, continue to be curious, and continue to run towards your desire to achieve what you deem to be your own success.
You can do it! I believe in you!
Have you already achieved your personal success? Share with us below!